Say ‘Hi’ to Hamlet on The Beach

To walk or not to walk the beach, that is the question these dark wintery days in the South Florida realm of DeSantis land. They not only can be chilling but thrilling, presenting some starkly dramatic Shakespearean dilemmas.

As my princess Rita and I stride along the shoreline at low tide, dramatic scenes of bubbly surf catch our eyes.  We see little fish scrambling, fleeing for their lives from being eaten by bigger ones, then winding up in a worse life-threatening situation—beached! 

Then along comes us gallant Knights of the Boca Roundtable and suddenly our blithesome morning beach walk turns into shark stark drama.  We behold these tiny creatures writhing on our shoreline just in front of us.  We see the poor critters trembling, gasping for air, pleading for a lifeguard’s merciful rescue, a handout to clutch them from misery and a torturous death.

So lovingly, as a newly ordained Planetary Lifeguard, Rita stoops and scoops up the critters inside clumps of sand to protect milady’s fair hand, then she hurls the collection containing the poor little sufferer back into the sea of troubles.

Only what new perils now would it face?  

There’s the Shakespearean dilemma we encounter mornings in front of our condo castle in faraway DeSantis land. 

To rescue or not to rescue, that is the question as Shakespeare would put it. 

Whether tis nobler in our minds and hearts to see fish suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or take arms against a sea of troubles, taking them into our arms and tossing the little creatures back from whence they fled, thus by opposing their suffering and imposing our will, we end it.  Or do we?

Perchance we dream for once again they’ll likely be hunted anew and eaten alive by the billionaire fish who love to feed on the little ones who made them rich.

So, is our heroic act of saving one creature outrageously harming another?

I refer to the ones with wings who fly overhead without doors falling off on our heads who just had their breakfast stolen by a couple whom they see not as knightly saviors, but beach bandits, royal buffoons in silly armor.

What narrow minded, one-sided fools the hungry gulls, terns and pelicans must think we are to cast their food back into the ocean most likely set adrift as a bountiful buffet for marine underworld to feast upon. 

Are we now the albatross of the Albatrosses that see us as deeply prejudiced humans, favoring one species over another . . . despicable people who like feeding sharks and f—ing birds out of what Mother Nature had so timely delivered freshly alive for their healthy breakfast.

For us wannabe do-gooders it’s a Disconcerting Dilemma with an enormous capital D.  So, let’s keep Planetary Lifeguard focused on blowing the whistle on climate change and let the sea birds have whatever they want for breakfast.

When he’s not walking on the beach, Tom Madden is writing articles, blogs and books, his latest WORDSHINE MAN, about how to make writing inviting. He’s CEO of the public relations firm TransMedia Group and founder of PlanetaryLifeguard, an organization dedicated to promoting clean energy and capturing carbon before it robs us of healthy air to breathe.