Published On: Thu, Aug 3rd, 2023

Why older women are done with dating

By Marci Shatzman

The only people who ask me to fix them up these days are men.

This has nothing to do with divorce. Even women who had a happy marriage and lost their spouse are completely done with dating. To quote one woman in the know, “they’re either looking for a nurse or a purse.”   

The men I talk to get it. Or as one man said: “Nobody wants to be a caregiver at our age or even take that chance.”

On the “purse side”, you won’t see trophy wives here in Boca, trolling for financial security. Most men (and women) see that coming, except for naïve victims of online dating.

Older women go out en masse now. You’ll see them at the movies and in restaurants. They’re happy to be back with a group of “girls,” like they were in high school or college, except that nobody talks about men.    

Too often older men sit alone, trying to strike up a conversation with strangers, looking like they lost their best friend. They instinctively know the days of picking up women at bars is probably over for them.

If people our age want to couple up for companionship, no strings attached, that takes effort. So fix-ups, dating apps, sites like AmorousHug, country clubs and 55+ communities can be happy hunting grounds for new attachments. 

I know two widowers who reunited with their high school sweethearts in their retirement. Not unusual now that people can make social media connections.

My sister and I are the only women I know who don’t agree with being alone at this stage of our lives. We’re both mostly happily married for 51 and 43 years respectively. I loved being single when I was younger so I could come and go in my 24/7 life as a journalist with no domestic obligations.

Not now. I told my husband if he goes first, I’m on a dating site in six weeks. He doesn’t think that’s funny.

For feedback,  email marci@bocaratontribune.com

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