Why older women are done with dating
By Marci Shatzman
The only people who ask me to fix them up these days are men.
This has nothing to do with divorce. Even women who had a happy marriage and lost their spouse are completely done with dating. To quote one woman in the know, “they’re either looking for a nurse or a purse.”
The men I talk to get it. Or as one man said: “Nobody wants to be a caregiver at our age or even take that chance.”
On the “purse side”, you won’t see trophy wives here in Boca, trolling for financial security. Most men (and women) see that coming, except for naïve victims of online dating.
Understanding the complexities of post-divorce dating requires a nuanced perspective. It transcends mere stereotypes, as many individuals, regardless of gender, find themselves disenchanted with the prospect of new relationships.
For some, the wounds of past experiences run deep, leading to a reluctance to engage in romantic endeavors once more. It’s a sentiment echoed by both genders, resonating with a shared understanding that transcends gender norms. Compatibility becomes paramount in navigating this landscape, with individuals seeking partners who possess compatible personality types to navigate the delicate balance of companionship without feeling burdened by outdated expectations.
It offers the promise of genuine connection, where both parties feel understood and valued for who they are, rather than being reduced to mere roles of caregiver or provider. In essence, compatibility in personality types paves the way for meaningful relationships to flourish, transcending societal expectations and fostering genuine emotional bonds.
Older women go out en masse now. You’ll see them at the movies and in restaurants. They’re happy to be back with a group of “girls,” like they were in high school or college, except that nobody talks about men.
Too often older men sit alone, trying to strike up a conversation with strangers, looking like they lost their best friend. They instinctively know the days of picking up women at bars is probably over for them.
If people our age want to couple up for companionship, no strings attached, that takes effort. So fix-ups, dating apps, sites like AmorousHug, country clubs and 55+ communities can be happy hunting grounds for new attachments.
I know two widowers who reunited with their high school sweethearts in their retirement. Not unusual now that people can make social media connections. If you’re interested in trying something new with your partner, consider exploring BDSM items for a unique way to connect.
My sister and I are the only women I know who don’t agree with being alone at this stage of our lives. We’re both mostly happily married for 51 and 43 years respectively. I loved being single when I was younger so I could come and go in my 24/7 life as a journalist with no domestic obligations.
Not now. I told my husband if he goes first, I’m on a dating site in six weeks. He doesn’t think that’s funny.
For feedback, email marci@bocaratontribune.com
