The Prenuptial

By: Mike Gora 

Q. I met this nice man who is about my age on “Frumster.Com” a dating site for orthodox Jewish people.  I am financially very secure, and have children of my long marriage with the love of my life who passed away a few years ago from cancer.

The new man has asked me to marry him, and I’m starting to ask myself, Why not?  He is a real gentleman, lives in a beautiful home in Palm Beach, drives a Mercedes, and has a second home, an apartment, in Chicago.

My friends all say that I need a prenuptial agreement to protect myself and my children.  I went to a lawyer and he explained that I could have such an agreement drawn up in a way that will protect my children in the event that I died first, or if there was a divorce (God forbid).

However, the lawyer said that in order to have a complete and binding agreement in Florida both me and my intended would have to disclose to one another all facets of our wealth.  My Max, dead five years, still whispers in my ear. He tells me go ahead with the marriage but don’t tell him anything.

Can David (new guy) and I agree not to disclose our money and property to one another and still have a binding prenuptial agreement?  Why would I need to know about his “stuff” and he know about mine?

A  All of the statutory and appellate law in Florida tells us that in order to have a valid prenuptial agreement in Florida the two of you must disclose all of your assets, liabilities and income to the other.  Assuming that neither of you is employed at this time the respective incomes would be the product of your investments, the interests, dividends, and net trading profits.

While it might be possible to reach an agreement under which you both waive the right to see the other’s financial picture there seems to be a real necessity to make this exchange to protect yourself.  Candidly, he should feel the same way.

The two of you are committing yourself for the rest of your lives.  While “David” presents himself as a wealthy person one never knows.  You might have a home with all equity and no mortgage.  His beautiful home might be in foreclosure, and he might be fighting lawsuits by the score.

You may have $10 million in brokerage accounts, annuities, oil interests and real estate and he may be deeply in debt because he lost what he had in the recent near recession.

He may be looking to you as his meal ticket instead of a love interest.  It is not difficult for a person to live in a big house, drive a nice car, and have the ability to sign for a fancy trip on a credit card and still have little if any money in the bank.

The next time that Max whispers in your ear tell him that you appreciate his advice but you do not believe it’s a good idea to buy a new car without looking under the hood.

Michael H. Gora has been certified by the Board of Specialization of The Florida Bar as a specialist in family and matrimonial law, and is a partner with Shapiro Blasi Wasserman & Gora P.A. in Boca Raton.  Mr. Gora may be reached by e-mail at mhgora@sbwlawfirm.com.