WELCOME TO A STARTLING NEW PANDEMIC VOCABULARY

There is so much newness and blueness in our lives these pan-demonic days that it might not only be appropriate, but necessary to consider expanding our vocabulary.

So, here are some new terms that will take us into the far reaches of this pandemic as we hide from the wicked witch virus from the far east, from which sadly too many of us are dying as we await vaccines that were supposed to come at warp speed, yet move more like warped molasses toward starving arms.

So, let’s start with . . .

Encyclopandemia — a definitive work unraveling information on pandemics, particularly focused on knowledge comprehensively derived from and concerning China’s not so subtle coronavirus or COVID-19 invasion of the United States and the rest of the world in circa 2020.

Stimulati – meager, barely stimulating handouts from a torturously slow-moving government to a desperate populace providing people with just enough to live on and stay relatively tranquil during a pandemic so there will be no uprisings.

Lockdownagens – a strategy bordering on demented depravity designed to diminish enterprise and will to work by ordering businesses to close and populations to stay at home, leaving the masses dulled, powerless and stupefied and all decisions left in the hands of those in power proclaiming they know better.

Dissidents Demasked —this is an immunity careless herd of idiots stampeding shoulder to shoulder, congregating in bars, restaurants and at wild at-home, facemask defrocked parties, tossing social distance to the winds and adamantly avoiding washing their hands.

Vaccinophiles – Wannabe celebrities, including mediocre senators taking a shot in the arm to win one for The Gipper.  They barge into the same spotlight as President Biden and Dr. Fauci volunteering to be injected with a vaccine protecting against COVID-19 and hopefully its many new faster walk-in strains now surging, plaguing the world with a more contagious form of its original slower-spreading viral ancestor.

Cuomophobia—Fanatically over-reacting and taking excessive precautions to escape from a presumed imminent threat of a pervasive pestilence spreading its horrific wings, about to devour an entire city already reeling from lockdowns, quarantines and lost business.

Trumpertantrums—Firing off flurries of tweets attacking critics and especially democrats presumed to defy reason, logic and common decency when counting votes.

Trumpophile—Intense supporter of President Donald J. Trump who’d do practically anything to keep him in office even if having to act, pardon the expression, civil. 

Bidentistry—Filling cavities left by a political adversary and predecessor who once called you Sleepy until you woke him up and shook him out of bed.   

Bidentures–removable plates or frames holding one or more artificial political planks designed to appease the liberal wing without upsetting Republicans too much.

So, think about adding these new terms to your vocabulary and while you’re mulling it over, please stay guarded, unassailable and that four-letter word, SAFE!