The month of May, not unlike the other months of the year, is marked by memorable dates of festivities and celebrations, with Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, and of course Mother’s Day. While for most people, Mother’s Day is one filled with joy and gratitude where children display their love and affection for the women who brought them into the world, for some it’s a day they’d rather not remember, because it’s a synonym of loss and sadness. Despite the controversy of feelings this day provokes, mostly everyone on Earth can relate to it somehow. But Mother’s Day is much more than just a day set aside to celebrate mothers and their love for their children; it’s an opportunity to reflect on what it means to be a caregiver, a nurturer, and on the unnoticed sacrifices they make along the way.
As mothers grow older and, depending on their health condition, some children opt for placing them in nursing homes, where they often feel unloved and abandoned. There are, however, those mothers whose children still care and provide for them even from far away. That is the case of Irene Liberman, an 87 year old, who receives home care assistance through Aurora Nurses of South Florida, all covered by her two children Howard and Phyllis and their spouses, who live in New Jersey.
Irene grew up in Sharon, Massachusetts, and raised two children Howard and Phyllis, with her now deceased husband Milton. As a dedicated mother, Irene was a stay-at-home mom for most of her children’s early years. When the time came to go back to work, she opted for a job as the cafeteria cook for Sharon Junior High, mainly for the convenience of being able to be home when her kids arrived from school, and also for getting the summers off to spend time with her family, “It wasn’t good for the money, but it was good for the schedule” she says. As the children grew older and started their own families, Irene and Milton made the move to Florida, which has been home for over 13 years.
A woman of graceful attitude and calm demeanor, Irene remembers her husband with the deepest love, “We had a good relationship; we were married for over 63 years”, and her aide Carmela Quammie is a witness to what made their relationship so great, “Irene never fought with her husband; she always let him take the lead. She’s an example to the younger generation of women, of how they should carry themselves.” Back in 2000, after going through cardiac surgery, Irene started therapy sessions, which her husband would drive her to. Years later, after discovering he had a minor stroke, doctors told Milton he would not be able to drive any longer. Consequently, Irene was compelled to suspend her therapy sessions, but she did not give up. Instead she set up her own therapy exercises using the treadmill and bike at the gym in her complex, proving once again her strength and endurance. Due to Milton’s health condition, their daughter Phyllis arranged it so they could receive assistance from a professional, who would also drive for them. That’s when Carmela came along and they hit it off, or as Irene cheerfully remembers, “He hit it off with Carmela just beautifully.” The chemistry between them was evident, and Irene affirms it never bothered her that her husband would sometimes ask for Carmela’s rather than her help, and Carmela attributes that to Irene’s confidence, “She is so secure in who she is as a woman that my assistance didn’t bother her; I did for both of them equally, and that shows their beauty as a couple.”
Although Carmela came on to work for the couple mainly because of Milton, she has stayed on to assist Irene who suffers from macular degeneration. Carmela, who is married and has a family of her own, spends six days of the week with Irene, assisting her with everything from driving her to appointments, to preparing meals and cleaning the house, “I don’t see this as a job; I do for her what I would do if it were my mother.” Despite the gradual loss of her vision, Irene remains very active and occupies her time with several classes such as Tai Chi, Independent Living Skills and even a computer typing class at Florida Outreach Center for the Blind twice a week. Additionally, Irene keeps busy with hobbies such as knitting, crocheting, and baking. Executive Director of the center, Carolyn Lapp, expresses how much Irene’s example means to her, “She’s an inspiration to all of us here; despite the loss of her husband and going through vision loss, she won’t give up but keeps going strong.”
After her husband’s passing Irene’s children urged her to move back up North so she could be close to them and receive the care she needed, but she told them, “I don’t want to make any rash decisions.” After careful thought she decided to stay in Florida and continue with the comfortable life style she enjoys here. Although they live out of town, her children call and check on her everyday and make sure all her needs are met. Irene will be spending this Mother’s Day with her sister and family, and will certainly be showered with the love and gratitude that remain constant, not just from her children, but from all who know and admire this perseverant woman – a true example of a mother, who defies the odds everyday and continues to celebrate life.