By Diane Feen
There aren’t too many people in the world more fortunate than Jerry Seinfeld. He created one of the most successful TV shows on the planet, he has a wonderful marriage and more money than you could spend in a lifetime. And, despite the fact that he doesn’t really have a day job (the TV show “Seinfeld” halted production years ago); he always seems to be pretty content.
Like everyone else with a funny bone that needs occasional stimulation, I try to catch Seinfeld when I can. I’ve seen him on the Oprah Show twice, beaming from the audience as his wife touts her common sense cookbooks. And occasionally, he makes the rounds of late night talk shows, always making us chuckle at the absurdity of life’s little vignettes.
So, as a fan of epic proportion I couldn’t resist the chance to see this legendary funnyman in person recently at the Ziff Ballet Opera House in Miami. The concert was not only sold-out, but tickets were selling on eBay for $1,000 (thoughts of new carpeting for my bedroom swirled in my 
head for a nanosecond).
As the lights went down I wondered if all the success and docile domesticity had tamed the wilder instincts of this comic genius. But, luckily it hadn’t. Seinfeld is still the same funny fellow who charmed us for nine years on his hilarious TV show about nothing. And luckily, for those of us who hold Seinfeld in the same esteem as the Dalai Lama, it was a rave success. We laughed until we cried (some of us) and marveled at how this native New Yorker could make the little things in life seem so hysterically funny.
He made fun of everything from star 69 (that was the only number they could think of?) to eBay (There’s a good idea. Let’s just start mailing our trash to one another) and continued in funny form about Starbucks, Facebook and marriage.
“I am married 11 years but I didn’t get married until I was 45. I had issues, but I really enjoyed those issues. I finally got married at the Jesus Christ age; it’s the time when people say ‘Jesus Christ, you’re 45 and not married.”
As far as marriage goes Seinfeld seems to have reverence for the institution, but when on stage he seemed to enjoy playing with its often frayed edges. “Being married is like living on the floor of the Senate, every day a new law is passed ….The hardest part of being married is trying to get through a day without saying, ‘I hate you.’”
One thing for sure, it’s hard to imagine Jerry Seinfeld hating anyone. He talked about friends – which I imagine he has zillions of (after all, he has a house the size of the Metropolitan Museum on Long Island). “If you have four friends, you’re lucky; six friends is tops, but with eight, everything gets out of control.”
He also couldn’t help letting us know that he has us all figured out. “I know why you all live in Florida, it’s so you can call your friends up North and tell them how wonderful the weather is and how blue the water is. You’re all here because you love the weather.”
The Seinfeld character that was bothered by everything on TV seemed pretty easy going in person. He doesn’t mind the weather (I just put on a coat when it’s cold, he said), doesn’t like to buy a lot of new things (why would I want to read another one-inch manual) and enjoys getting rid of possessions. “People keep things in storage so they can visit their stuff every month and say, ‘some day I’m going to get you out of here.’”
Seinfeld, dressed in a tailored business suit, had us laughing in the aisles with his take on drugs like Cialis. “If you want to get something going you don’t need two tubs, you take a bath together. Not only that, if you’re going to lug two steel tubs up a mountain, of course you’re going to be too exhausted to perform.”
We know Seinfeld can perform, and we know he can make us laugh until tears cloud our vision. Check out his concert schedule at:
http://eventful.com/performers/jerry-seinfeld-/P0-001-000002905-9