By Dale M. King
BOCA RATON – Dan Schwimmer looked up at the sign on the banquet table where he was sitting and noted what it said: “Friends of Rosemary Krieger.”
“That could apply to us all,” said the vice-president and wealth management advisor for Merrill Lynch of Boca Raton, looking around the packed hall at the Royal Palm Yacht Club. “Everyone here is a friend of Rosemary.”
On that day, though, it was the friendship, support and encouragement given by Ben and Rosemary Krieger to Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse (AVDA) that was being recognized. Rosemary received the Heart of a Woman award at the third annual fundraising luncheon sponsored by AVDA, an organization that provides a 24-hour-a-day hotline, crisis counseling, safety planning, screening for emergency shelter services and exploration of choices and referrals for victims of abuse.
She accepted the award from last year’s recipient, Arlene Hyman. Anne Vegso was similarly honored in 2008.
“I am truly honored to be chosen by AVDA,” Rosemary said. She noted how the AVDA shelters – to which she and her husband have contributed funds – “give women and children who have endured suffering time to regain their strength and courage to start a new life. They can go out in the world with their heads held high. This is a community of hope.”
Arlene Hyman described Rosemary as “warm, charming and welcoming. She is charitable, and gives unselfishly. She and her husband have done so much for the community and for the less fortunate.”
With a voice trembling with emotion, Rosemary said, “My husband, Ben, and I are happy to have played a small part” to aid victims of abuse. She cited AVDA Executive Director Pamela O’Brien for her “diligence” and said to the crowd, “My heart goes out to all of you who help.”
“Open your eyes and your ears to others,” she said. “We all have something to give.” Quoting Mother Teresa, she said, “It is not what you do, but the love you put into it.”
O’Brien said the Heart of a Woman luncheon is one of two major fundraisers held each year. They support the shelter, transitional housing and other programs that aid victims of abuse.
She pointed out that 90 percent of every dollar collected by ADVA supports services. Victims of domestic violence and their children can remain in the shelters six to eight weeks while receiving advocacy and case management services. Domestic violence survivors can stay in transitional housing for up to two years while they learn life skills and gain economic independence.
Also addressing the mid-day gathering was Jeannette Markus, a survivor of abuse at the hands of and gone on to become a certified financial planner for MorganStanley SmithBarney.
Jeannette told of the horrors of sexual abuse at the hands of her father starting at age 10. She told how she saved her lunch money so she could get away from home. She lived with an aunt in Massachusetts until her father left.
After finishing school as a straight-A student and received a degree from Georgetown University, she married, but the bond soon deteriorated with abuse. It was then she found AVDA and clung to its services to remake herself.
She is “now married to a wonderful man I met 31 years ago, and we have a wonderful relationship.” And she told those in the audience: “We are all capable of breaking the cycle of abuse. The difference between try and triumph is a little ‘umph,’” she said.
Also speaking was Victor Rivas Rivers, actor, author and spokesperson for the National Network to End Domestic Violence.
He also cited the horrific violence he and his family endured from an abusive father – violence that nearly drove him to kill the man.
Rivera said his mother endured 15 years of psychological and physical abuse and how his father once smashed all his baseball trophies to denigrate him.
“Love should never hurt,” said the actor who played Antonio Banderas’ brother in “The Mark of Zorro.” And holding up a clenched fist, he said to the audience, “This is not love.
He introduced his mother, brother and sister who were in the audience, and later autographed his book, “A Private Family Matter.”