6 Things People From Boca Raton Say

By: Francia Rodriguez

Maybe you’re sitting in class at FAU or you’re waiting in line at the cashier. But then you hear it—someone saying something that is just so Boca you have to stop and process what just happened. Hey, you might even be the one who’s saying it.

1. “I know where Ariana Grande lives.”

You know the story. You have a friend who has a friend who has a cousin who dated someone who knew Ariana before she was shipped off to Hollywood. Chances are you’ve probably seen her floating around town (although, now that she’s for real famous instead of just a little famous, that will probably be happening less often) but that doesn’t mean you’re the girl’s best friend. We all know that the closest you’ve ever been to the girl is watching her order a latte at the Starbucks in Town Center.

2. “This pen costs $200.”

This is real. This is an actual quote that came out of someone’s mouth and I heard it. And ‘pen’ isn’t a code word for something super fancy either, it is exactly what you think it is. You might be chewing on the end of one right now as you read this. It doesn’t have to be a pen, of course, you can replace that with any other item that you would normally get for a less ridiculous price. I just need you to be aware that these people exist and they are around you.

3. “I’m from Miami.”

To be honest, this is actually more of a general South Florida thing instead of only Boca. We have all had people ask us what part of Florida we’re from, and when you truthfully answer they just stare blankly at you in reply because apparently only Miami, Orlando, and Key West exist to the rest of the world. So now, in order to avoid any confusion, you say our state’s most famous city instead. It’s aggravating to have to do this, as we locals know these places are nothing like each other, but sometimes sacrifices just have to be made.

4. “Why is it so cold inside here?”

Picture this: You enter a movie theater and for some reason there is an odd prickling sensation on your skin. You’re confused and slightly scared. What’s going on? You rub your arms, glancing around as if someone else will know the answer. You see someone else mirroring your exact movements, but they seem as bewildered as you are. And then, suddenly, it hits you like that snowbird did in the parking lot last week—you’re cold. You imagine this is what Leonardo DiCaprio felt like when he was holding onto that floating door.

5. “I don’t usually go that far out.”

So the thing about living in South Florida is that everything is very far apart and you have to drive everywhere. It’s a sad truth that we just have to accept as we begrudgingly fill up our gas tank again even though we just did so at the end of last week. And yet, for some reason, we in Boca seem to have trouble wrapping our heads around this. When someone tells us that they live somewhere on Sample, we wince. If they say this new cool store is off of University and Atlantic, we’ll say something along the lines that we seldom go to that area. Why do we do this? I know that we leave Boca, obviously, but at times it feels like we do it so unwillingly it’s as if the city has us trapped. Is Boca Raton just so magical that the thought of driving one city over that unbearable? Maybe. Scientists are looking into this phenomenon* as I speak.

6. “Is there valet parking?”

Most people would picture valet parking to be a thing at slightly more expensive places. Valet parking at clubs? Normal. Amusement parks? Normal. Publix? Wait, what? Well, here in Boca we know how much everyone loves driving their cars yet hate parking lots. That’s why seeing a valet service anywhere is a pretty common sight. We know that you have looked at the Cinemark parking lot on a Friday night and considered just handing your keys over to the attendant. Sadly, if you are a poor student like I am, you have to shake your head and drive on by while silently cursing that temptation.

* They are not actually looking into it. I am sure scientists have other science-y things to do with their time. Perhaps we should suggest that they should study this though.